Excerpt's from my diary - Covid19


I've had an idea, a little blog series if you will. I've decided to compile excerpts from my diaries to create stories that depict my life journey. I want to share my journeys of heartbreak and sadness and show that healing IS possible and things DO get better (I promise). I use my diaries to reflect upon a lot and would love to bring that reflection to my lil' blog.

Anywho, to start, I wanted to share some of my diary entries from before and during the first lockdown.

17th March 2020 11:41 am

I feel as though I need to document this as it's probably a huge part of my life and history. Most countries are either in lockdown or preparing for lockdown. We will probably be in lockdown soon, but it's so far out of my reality that I can't see it happening.

22nd March 2020

The UK is pretty much in lockdown now; it will probably be a few more days until the reins are tightened. All pubs, clubs, cinemas, restaurants, and cafes are closed for at least a month.

The other day I nearly wasn't allowed to buy four sachets of white hot chocolate.

I remember this day SO vividly. Whenever I did my weekly food shop at ASDA, I would always pick up four sachets of white hot chocolate (I don't know why I never bought the tub). The sachets themselves are tiny, and they're always four for a pound, so obviously, I would buy four for a pound. Anyway, upon scanning my shopping, the cashier turned to me and said, "I can't let you have these." It was the first time I'd been hit with the new reality that Covid had brought into all of our lives. Thankfully, after explaining that they were four for a pound, she let me have them.

2nd April 2020 10:40 am

We are still in lockdown, and I feel as though I've adjusted to it pretty well <3

Even though I'm enjoying being at home, it's still pretty odd how everything is outside. I went to ASDA yesterday and had to queue outside because only a certain amount of people are allowed in - It's all very strange. Even stranger is that I've just had a delivery, and the delivery man knocked on the door and then just left because they're not allowed to come into contact.

I find this kind of cute. First of all, queueing outside of the supermarket seems like a lifetime ago. I remember feeling so anxious about it and as though I was in a completely new world. Secondly, I forgot that it wasn't normal for delivery drivers to knock on your door and leave the delivery on the floor until I reread this entry.

7th April 2020 9:30 am

I'm sorry that I'm breaking the rules Borris - Sometimes you have to for your sanity.

14th April 2020 2:30 pm

Today I did my walk to ASDA, which I was feeling anxious about, but I went anyway.

30th April 2020 11:54 am

I want to move to London.

This has nothing to do with the lockdown itself, but being cooped up at home did cause me to reflect on my life. During the lockdown, I began to write out my hopes and wishes for the future and wrote this, and now, I am writing this blog post from London.

I did it.

6th May 2020 12:45 am (Drunken entry)

Isolation is when your boyfriend, who isn't your boyfriend but used to be your boyfriend, can't sleepover in case he makes his parents ill. It's when you can't see your nephew. It's when your only contact with your father is over the phone. A pandemic is washing your hands all of the time. It's when you can't buy pasta. It's when you have to queue to get into Tesco express. It's when everything is abnormal. Like an alternate fucking reality that even the most creative people couldn't have imagined. It's so fucking exhausting but so refreshing. Two alternate worlds, colliding. Did you see what I did there? It's a scam. It's being so alone but so whole. So bored but so interested. I'm so confused. I never thought I would live like this. What is going on? I don't know.

16th May 2020 6:55 pm

I just got back from a nice little walk. I'm really enjoying lockdown. I was so scared about it when it began, but for the most part, it has been really lovely to relax and not worry about anything.

31st May 2020 11:05 am

Isolation is turning me into a better person. I needed this time, and I didn't even know it.

26th September 2020 10:23 am

Good morning <3 It feels like lockdown again because I've had almost a week off work. Not to mention the fact that the UK now has a curfew (all pubs and restaurants have to close at 10 pm). I can't believe that this has all been going on for six months. This time six months ago, we were in a national lockdown, and now here we are. We have to wear masks on transport, in supermarkets, and stores. You have to wear them when you're walking to your table or the toilet in a pub or restaurant. There's hand sanitiser everywhere, and you have to scan barcodes wherever you go so that the NHS can track and trace you.

Here we are, six months on from this entry, and alas, we're still in lockdown.


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